Perhaps your dog barks when you and your partner hug or kiss or show other signs of amorousness. Maybe she even tries to stop acts of physical intimacy, getting between you and your mate. Is she jealous?
Could be. Like small children, dogs are used to the attention being focused on them, so they don’t like it when that attention is focused elsewhere. It may even make them anxious or uncomfortable. When you and your partner are having a moment, a dog may intuit that her wellbeing is not front of mind for you right then. Other possible reasons for objecting to your intimacy:
- Some dogs may simply misinterpret the physicality. While many dogs let their people hug and kiss them, it is not behavior they come by naturally. It’s something they get used to. Therefore, seeing others hug and kiss may seem strange and therefore something to feel alarmed about. In fact, some dogs conflate physical intimacy with an act of aggression or confrontation and feel they have to take matters into their own paws to keep what seems like a fight from escalating. After all, a dog will often get between two other dogs that are acting hostile toward each other.
- There are dogs who are heavily invested in guarding behavior, meaning they feel the need to be in charge of all movements. Think: herding dogs such as border collies. Especially if the movement has an energetic feel to it, such a dog is going to want to control the action.
- A dog may be bored and use your coming together with your partner as an opportunity for engagement.
To calm a dog who, like a stern preacher, has taken on the responsibility of keeping eager bodies away from each other, consider giving her a little attention — petting or cooing. If that doesn’t work (some dogs don’t even like their “parents” holding hands while watching television), try giving your pet something to do that’s incompatible with breaking up your activity. That could take the shape of filling a Kong with a frozen treat and giving it to your dog to enjoy in another room.
You can also desensitize your pet — an important strategy if your dog is actually threatening one of you with physical harm to stop the intimacy. It has to be gradual. Place your hand on your partner’s shoulder. If your dog can tolerate that, praise her and give her a treat. Progress to rewarding your dog when she can bear you giving the person a kiss on the cheek. And so on.
Finally, make sure to give your pet plenty of really great doggie time — walks, learning tricks, taking classes, and socializing with other dogs and other people. The more your dog gets to engage in enjoyable dog activities, the less likely she will feel the need to interrupt activities meant only for people.
